In various IC communities, there's one question that new IC patients always ask: How do you deal with the anxiety of going out to eat?

When certain foods make you sick, but won't kill you, and the foods are seemingly non-offensive (telling someone you are allergic to legumes is different than saying you can't eat tomatoes), it's likely that you'll be served something you can't eat until you get the hang of the diet.

When I first adopted the diet, I was terrified of restaurants. While my symptoms are more-or-less under control nowadays, there was a time when eating a piece of toast with soy margarine (thinking it was butter) would put me in bed for an entire day. I found myself avoiding eating outside of house and found myself eating the same bland foods for every meal. It took a while, but I'm now fairly confident whenever I try a new restaurant.

Some tips I absolutely swear by:

• Be very clear. I explain the diet this way: nothing acidic, citrus, high in histamines, spicy, or soy. Unless a restaurant is really fancy (or really awful) a server will check on ingredients and should be able to tell you what's in each dish. It's way easier to ask someone what's in a dish than explaining away the diet.
• Know what to avoid in regional cuisine. I can't eat black beans. When ordering food in a Mexican restaurant, I'm always sure to specify that I'd like pinto beans substituted for black. (Just saying pinto beans can mean that you get a side of pinto beans in addition to the black beans in your burrito.)
• Know what you can usually eat. This seems really obvious, but it took a while for me to realize that I can almost order a house salad--no tomatoes, onions, or spinach--with a side of ranch anywhere that serves salad. Or that I will always be able to find fettucini alfredo--even if there's nothing else with a pesto or olive oil base on the menu.
• Call ahead. Even though I'm fairly good at navigating menus, there are certain places I just can't eat. Being vegetarian, it bothers me to no end that many vegan restaurants have a menu that revolves completely around soy. Sometimes a place will make a special dish if you call ahead and explain your diet.
• Check menus online. In addition to calling ahead, lots of places post their menus on their websites. It's always a good idea to know what you might order before you go.
• Stay away from precooked food. The more preservatives in a food, the more likely I'm going to have a reaction to them. Not all IC patients notice this, but it's worth paying attention to see if you do. Eating at restaurants that use fresh, seasonal produce can greatly reduce the likelihood of a flare. And those restaurants are usually locally owned, support local farmers, and serve more delicious food anyhow.
• Don't be afraid to send things back. Maybe it's because I was raised to think sending food back is the ultimate in snobby behavior, but this one took me a long time to become comfortable. Even now, I try my hardest to not end up in a position where I have to actively refuse food. But if a meal comes with diced onions, I can either spend half the meal trying to pick them out, or I can just ask for a replacement meal.

The IC diet doesn't mean you are doomed to cook all of your meals at home (or have your wonderful boyfriend cook them all for you). It just requires a little preparation.